sigh..it's really the only word i want to express. i don't know what i feel at certain moments i just don't understand and can hardly figure out what i want to think and to feel to lessen worries, change my perspective and so on..it is just so hard to teach what u want ur heart to feel. i've been in a longest journey ever and so desperately wanted to express and save words so i can possibly monitor my life, somehow? i don't know why i have to. sometimes i feel scared i might lose all the memories ive been trying to save in my brains. i seem to always depend on my past to base how to live my life better. im just so glad i remembered i still have this. i will then try to jot down every detail of the most important things i can possibly remember. thanks a million gmail.